This “just another wordpress.com” blog isn’t my first blog. I had a blog before this on Posterous, a simple blogging platform started in May 2008, funded by Y Combinator. I bought the domain name under Ivbaoshi.com and I paid $19.99 a year for the domain for 2 years, since 2009. The blog attracted at least 40,000 views. In Chinese, Ivbaoshi (宝石) means “I have gems.” I had a girl crush on a male graduate Economics student and Engineer in China at Zhejiang University of Science & Technology. He called me Baoshi “gem” because, in his own words, I’m “charming and always have thought provoking words even though your understanding of Economics is limited.” This cultured young man called me charming and wise. He was my pen pal and language partner in Mandarin.
In 2013, I came back to Chicago. Then I attended a conference at MIT Climate Colab on crowd funding to address the worst effects of climate change. In May of 2014, I attempted to reclaim my domain name Ivbaoshi.com. AcquireThisName.com responded to my email saying that someone bought my domain name. I gave the asking price of $40. AcquireThisName.com rejected my offer and then repsonded I could buy it back for $69. I took offense at that number as a sexual position. I responded that “my blog is priceless” at the present of what value my blog could possibly be worth in the future. I wrote that I shouldn’t have to buy back my own domain name. The domain was then sold to NameJet.com for bidding. The name is lost to me. I could never afford it.
At the end of 2014, I decide to name this WordPress.com blog for a book publication called Cliche of Logic about culture, innovation, and social change. I made a Tumblr version called Cliche of Logic about the global unrest that followed change in social movements. It happens once every century. My Facebook and Twitter handle uses my online psuedoname IvBaoshi. My Youtube channel goes by the name TheFionaSmith. I thought about allowing the SEO traffic from my audience to decide on the future publications for my book platform. I wanted to use the funds to start my own Social Enterprise.
I did not have the money to buy back my own domain name Ivbaoshi. It had sentimental value. I was discouraged by the rejection. The same feeling of rejection I had from the tech company called Demand Media Studios, a platform for writers and filmmakers to promote their expertise in their industry, create engaging and unique content, and engage an audience. Demand Media Studios responded I was off to a great start, but I wasn’t what they were looking for, because I had no experience in management and coding.
I feel rejection once again. A sense of failure and worry that keeps me immobilized. I have no support base. I visited DePaul University to get a waiver or hold removed so I could register for classes despite owing tuition and so I could negotiate a payment plan. I wasn’t offered assistance from the financial aid department, even though my student appeal for funds was in process…awaiting a decision. Without funds for Tuition, I won’t be able to finish my degree. The goal of finishing my education is the only thing that keeps me going. I will remain an inactive student at DePaul for the Winter and Spring. If Plan A doesn’t work out, there’s always Plan B, and whatever number of letters in the alphabet. There’s a Chinese saying, “that out of a crisis, there is opportunity for change.”